So it’s that season again. (Yes, G, we are indeed a bunch of wasteful creatures!) Usually around this time of year I am right into the whole festive mode. Not this year. A couple times now I have caught myself at a Christmas party, sitting in the middle of a crowd of people and just staring at the floor. I am preoccupied with a sense of loss. A sense of being lost. I think about who I lost this year, and how I can barely cope. I was doing ok until that day I went to the mall and my life was changed forever. He was taken by something I love. The water. His daughter works saving little kids from drowning there. A cruel irony. But life goes on. And I am trying so hard to pick up the pieces, but pieces of what?? It all seems so pointless. And it really SUCKS that I don’t have him here to help me through this. Although there have been signs that he’s still here (God, have there even been signs!) The latest one was 3 black feathers. I just haven’t figured out if they are from a bird, or an angel.