Nov 28, 2010

What a way to find out
in the basement of the waterpark
in a place we used to hang out
you waited until i was ready
until everything was under control
so i wouldn't fall apart
well i did anyway....

he was a stranger.
he looked at me like,
"Come on, you already knew" and i did.
so why did i let it happen??
how could i let it happen??!
why did you let me??
was it SUPPOSED to happen??
why did you make me an accessory??
you didn't think i'd mind??
you didn't think i'd wonder??
you didn't think i'd agonize over what IF??
i don't mean to be selfish, but
i just have all these questions
did i have any control??
did you???
did i push the boat off shore??

what were your very last thoughts??
did you hear those awful words??
did you believe her??
oh Jesus, you were only a child.
were you self medicating sweetie??
did you do it on purpose??
were you in your right mind??
'cause i'm out of mine
Missing you, mourning you.
where did you go??
why did you go??

was it the wrong place,
at the wrong time??
or just your time??
you keep speaking to me,
so tell me, why didn't it sink???
did YOU drag it to shore????
you always returned things you borrowed...

i should have said no
oh God i should have said no
Honey, i'm so sorry
i'm so very very sorry!

This can't be Real
oh God, please don't let it be real...